Jersey Shore Recap: “This is Next Level Mindf-ckery”
A major secret was revealed on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation this week.
And a major bombshell was dropped.
Ready for a recap of events, which mostly served as a warm-up for what looks to be the most insane episode of all-time next Thursday night? Let’s do this…
The installment centered around Deena Cortese and husband Christopher Buckner hosting a gender reveal party at their home in The Garden State.
“I can’t wait anymore. I’m dying,” Deena said while waiting for a color-coded smoke signal to alert her and her loved ones to the sex of her impending child.
Ronnie Ortiz-Magro had not told anyone he was coming to the event, but he showed up nevertheless — keep that in mind, okay?
First, however, blue smoke rose up in the air, Chris screamed “YEAH!” and Deena explained why they were both so pleased to discover they were having a son.
“Now I can name my son after Chris and my dad,” said Cortese, whose father passed away in June of 2016.
Ronnie, meanwhile, actually pulled Deena aside and touched our hearts by telling her it was important for him to be on hand.
He felt awful that he missed her father’s funeral back in the day.
Of course, the last his friends had seen of Ronnie, he had been dragged by a car down the street and was all over the news due to this literal run-in with baby mama Jen Harley.
“I feel like I’m seeing a ghost,” Snooki said of his appearance at the party, while Vinny compared Ronne to Bigfoot for a similar reason.
What was it liked getting DRAGGED ON THE PAVEMENT BY A MOVING VEHICLE?
“It was an accident,” insisted Ronnie, adding that he and Harley (who share a young daughter named Ariana) are somehow still trying to work things out.
“What the hell is this kid doing?” Vinny asked during a confessional.
The roommates then gathered to celebrate the birthdays of The Situation and Pauly D at a Dave & Busters.
Appropriately, Mike got a cheeseburger cake, while Pauly got an Italian flag cake.
After going to town on the “foods,” the honorees opened their gifts.
Among other items, Mike received a police hat (LOL because he’s off to prison for tax evasion) and Pauly received a bedazzled megaphone.
Did the group want to go to Atlantic City with him for his next gig, Pauly wondered?
Everyone except Snooki said they were in: Deena with Chris; Mike with his fiancee, Lauren; Angelina Pivarnick with her fiance; and Ronnie said Jen would meet them there.
The clique was was stunned.
JWOWW even spit out her wine!
Hadn’t Harley just been arrested for domestic battery after she allegedly hit Ronnie in the face and dragged him with her car?!?
That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is yes.
“Can I get everyone’s attention for a second,” Ronne said during the group’s steak dinner in Atlantic City?
“So, obviously, there’s a lot of stuff that’s been going on with me and Jen, and she is in town and she’s here, and I would love for her to be with us this weekend.
Would you guys mind if she would come to Pauly’s gig tomorrow and just hang out? We’re all a family. I wanna put it out there, and I don’t wanna make people feel uncomfortable.”
JWOWW spit out some more wine at this point and Vinny killed us by adding:
“I mean, she can come. I’ve always wanted to be on TMZ!”
“What the f-ck, Ron?” Jenni later told cameras.
“You didn’t go to Seaside ’cause you were dragged by a car, and now you’re like, ‘Yeah, be cool with her.’ Like, I don’t know where to go with this. This is next level mindf-ckery.”
Despite Ronnie assuring his pals that it was alll good because he and Jen were attending couples therapy, Vinny also had his doubts.
“Ron is telling us that the fighting with Jen has ended,” he said in a confessional, concluding:
“That’s like him saying that the fighting with Sam has ended, which we all know has never ended. Obviously, we’re all terrified. He’s gonna do what he wants anyway, so there’s not much we can do.”
And, with that basically, we faded to black.
Return next week to find out what happened when Harley actually arrived in Atlantic City!