Jersey Shore Recap: A Bromance for the Ages
Jersey Shore: Family has been all about relationships on Season 2.
We’ve watched as Ronnie and Jen Harley have screamed and yelled at each other, with fists and saliva occasionally flying back and forth between the parents of poor little Ariana.
We’ve also been present when JWOWW filed to divorce Roger Matthews and when she had a major falling out with the other love in her life, Snooki.
But all this focus on affection and romance still didn’t prepare us for Thursday night’s finale…
… on which Pauly D and Vinnie got married!
For real! Sort of!
Last week, of course, the men sent the ladies off to the airport under the assumption they were right behind them. But they lied. And stayed behind to fit in one more “guys night,” making the absolute most of their testosterone-fueled time together.
In a manner of speaking.
At one point early on, Pauly D popped the question of a lifetime to Vinny Guadagnino, making a mockey of the entire concept of marriage and asking for his hand in this blessed union.
He said yes, and the two headed to a local chapel to make their bromance nice and legal.
Mike and Ronnie attended Pauly and Vin’s brommitment ceremony, with The Situation holding the cake and, naturally, eating most of it while the vows were exchanged.
From there, Pauly placed a gold band on Vinny’s finger, although the new husband wasn’t thrilled over the rather plain looking ring.
“The guy is covered in diamonds,” he told the camera. “Like, you could’ve given me a little bit of ice. C’mon!”
This was their first fight as newlyweds.
Of course, the real point of this supposed wedding was to given the fellas a reason to party on The Strip one final time.
And to say things such as this, courtesy of The Situation:
“Right now, it is madness. I feel like I’m in The Matrix right now, dodging all the thotties.”
“I feel like I’m at one of Pauly’s gigs,” added Ronnie. “This whole cabana is DTF!”
And Vinnie: “They say it’s the thought that counts, but right now, I’m counting thots.”
On a more serious note, meanwhile, Ronnie chose to stock his house with all-new baby supplies for his infant daughter, following a heated altercation with her mom. Yet again.
“With everything being so crazy with Jen and the baby, I think that me and Jen need to work on ourselves separately,” he explained, adding:
“I’m just in the mindset of not really thinking about me and Jen, I’m just thinking about the baby.
“Jen just moved into the other house and she has all the baby stuff, and I want Ariana to have everything that she needs, the basics.”
Enlisting the assistance of his male pals, Ronne proceeded to go on a major diaper and car seat run.
“I’m very proud of Ron,” said Mike. “He’s taking steps to address some of the life situations that he’s facing. He’s really going through it. His life is, unfortunately, similar to a dumpster fire.”
Is Ronnie really a changed man?
Does he really have a renewed focus on his job as a parent?
We’ll see on Season 3 of Family Vacation, as well as on the Internet over the next few months.
But it sounds promising so far.
“I could sit around and be miserable and mopey, but what does that solve?” he said at one point, concluding:
“All that’s doing is breaking me down more and killing me inside when I’m supposed to be becoming a better person and a better father for my daughter…
“When I do get Ariana and she starts spending time with me, I want her to have everything that she needs.”