Sudden Windstorm Sends Porta Potties FLYING: Watch!
When a sudden and powerful windstorm struck Commerce, Colorado, one witness' camera captured the intense winds.
While people clung to each other to keep from being blown away, a couple of porta potties were not so fortunate. They soared into the air like kites.
Like really disgusting kites.
Wow … look at it go.
Okay, so Colorado isn't exactly hurricane central. And Colorado, famous for its mountains, mostly gets tornadoes in the eastern part of the state.
But that doesn't mean that the state cannot experience sudden and powerful windstorms.
One video out of Commerce, Colorado appears to show a group of people outdoors cling to each other, the ground, and nearby structures for dear life as they are bombarded by powerful winds.
Gabriel Flores' video captures it all.
The porta potties, which lack limbs and which are full of empty space that can be filled with rapidly moving air, were moved to the side and then sent into the air.
One of them really managed tow ork up some altitude.
We'd love to leave it at that.
And to possibly throw in a "usually, the only things getting this high in Colorado are its citizens!" Because, you know, Colorado decriminalized marijuana because they dislike unjust laws and like money.
But, as you can see in those two gifs above and in the video that we have included, the porta potties may have been unoccupied, but they were not empty.
That horrible, unspeakably foul-smelling mixture of human waste that sits in the bottom of porta potties? It did not stay in place.
So as the porta potties go blasting off again, they are visibly setting free a spray of human waste.
We hope that no one was injured in the windstorm, but we would understand if anyone who had that horrifying substance "rain' down on them wishes that they had died instead.
As you can see, the second of these two skybound porta potties also managed to rocket off into the air, just seconds behind the first one.
The reason for which this is possible is that they are not only full of space for fast-moving air to fill and catch like sails, but are designed to be lightweight.
After all, the whole idea is that you can have all of the discomforts of a nightmarish outhouse conveniently transported to any location.
So they're made of relatively lightweight plastic, and a couple of humans can move an empty one from the back of a truck to where it needs to be.
Of course … so can the wind.
In this gif, you can see how those porta potties launched with just a little more context.
The people were panicking and having to work hard to resist the wind, with that woman down in the fetal position to minimize the wind's ability to move her.
As funny as all of this is, you can clearly see that this was a serious and frightening experience.
Even if it's unlikely that a human would get flung into the air to that degree, being pushed a few yard by a powerful gust might make someone land on something sharp.
Or you might see someone dragged across a rough surface, covering their skin with cuts.
Your breath kind of catches when you see a parent crouched over their small child, preventing their kid from being swept away and also shielding them from dangerous debris that could put out an eye.
But we haven't seen any reports of any serious injuries.
Those porta potties, on the other hand, may simply never recover.
We hope that they've landed in some fantastic realm … on someone vile. Wizard of Oz style.