The Bachelorette Recap: Down… Set… Who Took a Hike?
Becca Kufrin played with some balls this week.
On a playing field, that is. Not in the bedroom.
SHEESH! Get your mind out of the gutter, people!
An action-packed installment of this beloved ABC franchise found two men sent to the hospital, along with Colton actually reunited with ex-girlfriend Tia.
Let’s get the recap underway, shall we?
To start, Kufrin’s friends from Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s irritating season of The Bachelor (including Tia, Bekah M., Kendall, Seinne and Caroline) joined their pal for her initial group date.
Naturally, Colton was among the suitors headed to a spa for the occasion, just a week after he confessed to Becca that he enjoyed a brief fling with Tia.
What a coincidence the two had a chance to reconnect, huh?!?
“The most we ever did was kiss,” Tia told Becca, basically giving the star her blessing before the ladies exchanged several “I love yous.”
Becca really did yearn to give Colton a chance, provided her was there for her, of course, and not because he applied with the hope that Tia would be the Bachelorette.
Colton insisted that he wanted to be candid with Becca and she believed him, saying that their first obstacle had been overcome as she actually gave him the group date rose.
From there, we transition to David and Jordan and the continuation of their rivalry.
At one point, David told Becca that his foe was bragging about having 4,000 Tinder matches.
This incredible estimation was later overshadowed, however, after David was sent to the ICU because he fell out of bed, leading to a busted face and nose.
“Karma is karma,” Jordan told the camera, which now brings us to a new feature of these reviews:
The Best and Most Ridiculous and Most Noteworth Jordan Quotes from The Latest Episode of The Bachelorette.
Let’s count ’em down!
5. I’m going to start being extremely implicit with my strategy. (We don’t think he knows what implicit means.)
4. If you wanna wreck my image, you can’t succeed, because my image is me! (Said in response to David claiming he wants to ruin Jordan’s modeling career.)
3. Chickens can’t fly! (A fact he stated in response to David falling out of bed because David dressed like a chicken on The Bachelorette premiere.
2. I cook, I clean … I’m a golden retriever. (Question: Can golden retrievers do either of these things?)
1. Cheers to you for being a bitch. (No, Jordan, cheers to YOU for being awesome.)
Incredibly, there was a second ER visit necessary this week after Clay injured himself during a group date football game.
Clay plays in the NFL, remember, but he was actually forced to withdraw from the show because he’ll need wrist surgery and couldn’t afford to jeopardize his career buy putting it off.
The Bachelorette, folks.
Who said the only body part that can hurt by playing is one’s heart?
(NOTE: If you had visited our section of The Bachelorette spoilers, you may have known this was coming.)
Elsewhere, Chris had difficulty being vulnerable while writing a love song (with some help from Richard Marx because of course) on his one-on-one date.
A traumatic experience with his dad – Chris wrote his father a letter hoping to reconnect years after his parent left him and his family, but his dad never replied – almost kept him from opening up to Becca.
However, in the end, he recovered and ultimately got a rose from the Bachelorette.
As for who got sent home?
You can click on the video below to watch The Bachelorette online and find out now!