Kate Middleton to Meghan Markle: Let Me Show You How to Dress, Bish
Depending on which tabloids you believe, Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle are either bitter rivals or the best of friends.
In all likelihood, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle, but where’s the fun in that?
Last week, there were rumors of Kate planning Meghan’s bachelorette party.
We’d say it was a nice gesture that probably helped to make Meg feel welcome, but based on today’s news, we’re starting to think it was a Regina George power move.
According to Entertainment Tonight, Kate has been advising Meghan on royal fashion protocol, which we’re taking to mean she’s going through her the actress’ closet and tossing anything she deems offensively fug.
“Like Kate, expect Meghan to make the occasional nod to her husband’s fashion icon mother,” a royal source tells ET.
“Both Kate and Meghan will no doubt honor Princess Diana with designs that reflect her likes and style.”
The insider says Kate “has also been advising Meghan about royal fashion, what protocol is expected and how she may have to adapt in the future,” adding:
“She has provided Meghan with names of some of the favorite U.K. go-to designers on everything from dresses, coats and the all-important British hat,”
Ah, the Brits love their hats, do they not?
It’s like a hundred years ago, one of them went to the Kentucky Derby and said, “This. But at every formal occasion.”
Fortunately for Meg, the British fixation with fancy chapeaux might help her to avoid a potential crisis of decorum.
We’re talking, of course, about the uproar over Meghan’s messy buns.
We’ll give you a moment to compose yourself. Moving on…
“There is no royal protocol for hairstyle,” the insider tells ET.
“Kate often styles her hair in a casual ponytail at more informal events, and Meghan’s messy bun was an attempt to fit in with the young people she was meeting in a similar casual setting with Prince Harry.”
Yes, the Brits apparently are not thrilled with the sight of Meg’s messy buns.
Clearly, she should’ve stayed in America, where Kim Kardashian broke the internet by spilling champagne all over her ass.
Elsewhere in the pre-royal wedding gossip landscape, Us Weekly is claiming that Meghan’s shady siblings are starting to be a royal pain in the messy buns, and no one knows what to do about it:
“Meghan is really worried about some of these members of her family,” one insider tells the tabloid.
“She hasn’t spoken to them in years. She’s lost sleep over relatives who’ve screwed her over. It’s the one thing she’s struggled with most since meeting Harry, especially after the engagement.”
Clearly, the only solution here is to round up Meghan’s relatives and have them made into hats.
And that’s how you diplomacy, folks.