Donald Trump to Rex Tillerson: You’re Fired!
If you’re having trouble keeping track of all the White House departures in recent weeks, fear not – we’re sure Donald Trump has no idea what the hell is going on, either.
The latest to earn a tombstone in the growing pet cemetery at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is none other than former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, who was 86’ed by the president in a meeting that surely concluded Trump’s famous catchphrase.
We’re referring, of course, to “Oh God, Russia really has me the balls. We’re all screwed, like really so much more bigly screwed than anyone realizes.”
Ha! Classic Donnie!
News of the Tillerson’s termination was first reported by The Washington Post and confirmed by Trump on Twitter this morning:
“Mike Pompeo, Director of the CIA, will become our new Secretary of State. He will do a fantastic job!” Trump tweeted with his usual bravado.
He added that this is totally a win for diversity, too, you guys:
“Thank you to Rex Tillerson for his service! Gina Haspel will become the new Director of the CIA, and the first woman so chosen. Congratulations to all!”
With no diplomatic experience and a career spent entirely in the private sector, Tillerson was a controversial pick when he was selected by Trump back in December of 2016.
Of course, this is the Trump administration we’re talking about, so the choice was upstaged by a larger controversy before lunch that same day.
Throughout his time as the nation’s top diplomat, Tillerson repeatedly locked horns with Trump, at one point speaking for most of the country when he derided the president as a “f–king moron” during a meeting with top officials.
After the meeting, Tillerson held an awkward press conference in which he praised the president’s intellect.
Notably, he never denied calling Trump a moron.
Adding to the hilarity of the situation, Trump later suggested that he and Tillerson “should compare IQ tests.”
“And I can tell you who is going to win,” the President of the United States quipped.
Throughout his tenure, Tillerson clashed with Trump on the question of how best to handle North Korean hostility.
It’s not yet known if Tillerson’s departure is in any way tied to Trump’s recent decision to meet with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un.
Rexy, we hardly knew ye.