Katy Perry: I’m Totally Still Banging Orlando Bloom!
Back in March, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom broke up after just a few months of dating.
They announced the split in a surprisingly cordial joint statement that frankly felt way too polite.
If two of your friends broke up in the same fashion, you’d be left thinking, Well, either they weren’t that into each other, or they’ll be smashing again before the year is out.
It seems impossible that anyone could be enter into a relationship with Katy Perry or Orlando Bloom halfheartedly, so we should’ve predicted that the attractive A-listers would once again end up knockin’ boots.
As recently as last week, it was widely reported that Katy was dating Robert Pattinson.
The rumor appeared to be BS from the start, what with Pattinson being engaged to FKA Twigs, and all.
This week, the rumor is that Katy is back with Orlando, and given her evasive answers on the topic in a recent interview, we can assume it’s legit.
“Well, you know, I think people are in and out of your life,” Katy said, when asked about the recent photos of her and Bloom attending a concert together.
“It’s nice to keep people you love around you. When you get older, lines get blurred. And you know what, I’m really busy. I’m about to go on tour for another year.”
A source close to Perry says she and Orlando are spending a lot of time together and “open to seeing what happens.”
Add to that the fact that Katy recently admitted to rekindling a romance after randomly texting an ex, and it’s pretty clear what’s going on here.
So stop trying to give us the run-around, Katy.
Also, while you’re at it, can you stop dispensing homespun wisdom like you’re sitting in her rocker and knitting a quilt in every damn interview?
Let’s take a moment to remember the woman is only 32 years old!
She’s talking about “blurred lines” in relationships like she’s too close to the sweet release of death to worry about labels.
Helpful note for other folks in their early thirties:
If your significant other asks you to define your relationship, don’t be all, “Well, I’m so old that the lines have blurred, ya know? Now be a dear and go stir me up some Metamucil.”
That kind of talk literally only works if you’re Katy Perry.