Kim Kardashian: I Can PROVE I Wasn’t Doing Cocaine!
When we saw this, we absolutely cracked up. (Ugh, cocaine pun not intended)
Just yesterday, Kim Kardashian denied that she does coke via Twitter, all because of what some social media sleuths spotted on her Snapchat. She said, at the time, that it was just candy.
Well now Kim's changed her story a bit, and she's posted a series of Snapchat videos that build up to a dramatic reveal of what Kim now says looked like cocaine. We hope that you enjoy the video below as much as we did. You're welcome.
We worry when people have too many explanations for why they're innocent, you know?
You usually want to find just one believable explanation and stick with it.
But, first, a quick refresher:
Because there's been a lot of news between yesterday and today.
Kim Kardashian took to Snapchat to promote her products, because of course she did.
That's who she is.
After spotting what looked like two lines of a suspicious white powder reflected in the mirror behind Kim, some followers began to wonder if Kim had slipped up and shown a couple of lines of unsnorted cocaine on the countertop behind her.
And the rumors spread.
As you may recall, we didn't find this scenario super likely.
First of all, Kris Jenner didn't raise her children to clumsily expose hard drug use to the world.
Oh, they all have some minor social blunders from time to time.
But of all six of her brood, only Rob Kardashian can be honestly said to be bad at social media.
And then there's Kim's general disposition.
Technically, yes, she's maybe dabbled at smoking weed in the past.
But she's now a married mother of two.
And she also claims to not even like the taste of alcohol.
(She probably needs to order some tastier drinks, but whatever)
Kim caught wind of the rumor, and yesterday she tweeted out her denial, and claimed that what appeared to be white powder was candy.
She even named the candy store — Dylan's Candy Shop.
But it was later, in her Snapchat videos, that she walks people through
"Okay, guys, I just got back to my hotel room, and look at this table: Same position — it is still there!"
She is, of course, referring to the pair of white streaks that look an awful lot like a suspicious white powder.
After some gentle parenting, Kim holds up evidence that she really did go to Dylan's Candy Shop.
"So, we did go to Dylan's Candy Shop. I did think that it was our pixie sticks."
Note that past tense — she now has a new explanation.
(Anyone else getting flashbacks of that one weirdo in middle school who would try to snort pixie sticks? What a waste of sugar)
The next part zooms in on Kim's proposed explanation.
But you know what?
We don't want to spoil the surprise.
For the record, even though she changed her story, we totally believe her.
(After seeing this, we realize that if they ever reboot Matlock, Kim would be an amazingly inspired casting choice for the titular character)
But this whole thing is super funny.
We hope that you get a laugh out if it, because we sure did.
And it sounds like Kim did, too.