Joseph Duggar and Kendra Caldwell: We’re Getting Married! Buy Us Stuff!
So, we all know that Kendra Caldwell is slated to be the latest sacrificial virgin offered up to the Duggar family altar.
That is, Kendra Caldwell and Joseph Duggar are getting married and they’ve set the date for October 7th, which we’ve noted is a short engagement even by this patriarchal fertility cult’s standards.
If you’re feeling sorry for Kendra for being destined to spend the rest of her life as effectively a personal possession of one of the Duggars, fans can always buy them wedding gifts — and we’ll tell you what’s on their list.
So, Kendra sealed her fate a few months ago when Joseph Duggar proposed to Kendra at Joy-Anna’s wedding, which was a wild move.
First of all, proposing at a wedding is intensely emotionally manipulative, especially when you’re dealing with a super religious (Christian, specifically) young woman.
Also, there’s that one social media post about wedding proposals that vows revenge on anyone who would do something so obnoxious:
“If you propose at my wedding, I’ll renew my vows at your wedding, go into labor at your baby shower, and die at your funeral.”
That’s a beautifully petty sentiment.
It may be that these two were encouraged to do something outrageous like that, maybe for ratings reasons.
But maybe also because Kendra courted Jedidiah before courting Joseph, which makes her the Duggar equivalent of some sort of scarlet woman, and they wanted to get that marriage taken care of ASAP.
(Maybe she was forced to switch … or maybe she just liked that Joseph has a real name)
But their wedding registry, via Amazon, yields a little insight into the life that these two have planned.
Some stuff is almost normal, like a $ 65 vacuum cleaner, a $ 200 water filtration system, a $ 279 KitchenAid mixer, and a $ 22 iron.
Like Joseph’s siblings, this new couple is asking for gift cards for food:
-$ 50 gift card to P.F. Chang’s
-$ 25 gift card to Texas Roadhouse
-$ 25 gift card to The Cheesecake Factory
-$ 25 gift card to Papa John’s
-$ 20 card to Domino’s
Honestly, some of those sound a little low, but maybe they’re doing that “food-sharing” thing where couples eat part of the same order.
Fans have already started buying them appliances, because yes, the Duggars still have fans.
We have to say that it’s sort of odd to see a celebrity family ask for gift cards, but it sort of makes sense.
The Duggars don’t have a massive cultural influence like some reality stars.
They have more limited cultural influence.
(Obviously, we hope that whatever influence they have diminishes into nothing, because they are a frightening bunch)
What the Duggars do have is a strong, if thankfully small, fundamentalist following.
These folks see any dip in ratings for the Duggars and every scandal as an “attack” on the family.
(In some cases, an “attack” in the sense of spiritual warfare, that kind of thing)
So they feel like this celebrity family somehow might need their literal financial support.
And the Duggars seem all too happy to reap the benefits.
Amazon registries aren’t that unusual.
Sometimes Instagram models and YouTubers (and, let’s be real, some porn stars) put them up.
Some random fan can buy you an end table or a new lamp or a new dress without ever knowing where you live.
Some people do it for internet friends whom they’ve never met, and it’s sweet.
It’s kind of sad to see the Duggars preying upon people who might feel a sense of religious obligation to send them cash and support their imagined battle with Western civilization or with society or women’s rights or whatever.
But, in this case, they’re just wedding gifts.
Jill Duggar and Derick Dillard’s controversy sounds a lot more serious.