Donald Trump Meets With Kanye West; Americans Brace For Douchepocalypse
Despite the 30-year age difference between them and the fact that their of different ethnic backgrounds (One is African-American, the other is the result of a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto and an angry Donald Trump Pomeranian being left in one of those transporter machines from The Fly.) it often seems that Donald Trump and Kanye West were separated at birth.
They’re both high-profile ego-maniacs who require constant attention and are prone to questionable hairstyle decisions.
So perhaps it was only a matter of time before Yeezy and the Donald joined forces to remix the Constitution as the season’s hottest mixtape (complete with cameo from Lil Vladdy Putin!).
To the understandable shock of reporters camped out in the lobby of Trump Tower, Kanye showed up for a 15 minute sitdown with the President-elect this morning.
Sources say Kanye requested the meeting and Trump agreed, probably so that he can fulfill his lifelong goal of not being the biggest narcissist in the room.
West endorsed Trump’s presidential run in a concert recently, but only after the real estate mogul secured a surprise victory in the Elctoral College.
The ensuing weeks were not kind to Kanye as he canceled the remainder of his Saint Pablo Tour, and was hospitalized following a nervous breakdown.
Today, however, the rapper was all smiles as he and Trump posed for photos in the tower whose Liberace-fever-dream decor could only be appreciated by the designer of the world’s ugliest and most overpriced sneakers.
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” Trump told reporters.
Asked what he and Kanye talked about during their brief meeting, Trump replied:
“Life, we discuss life.”
West refused to answer questions, telling reporters, “I just want to take a picture right now.”
“You take care of yourself, I’ll see you soon,” Trump told West as the rapper departed with his entourage in tow.
Not surprisingly, the motives of both men are being questioned for very different reasons.
Journalists have accused Trump of using the visit from Kanye to distract from increasing scrutiny of the role that Russian cyber-attacks may have played in the 2016 election.
Kanye is being accused of far more innocuous ulterior motives, as many believe he’s flaunting his “friendship” with Trump as a means of exacting revenge on friends-turned-rivals, Jay Z and Beyonce, both of whom were outspoken Hillary Clinton supporters.
Kanye’s wife, Kim Kardashian, also supported Clinton, and the rapper’s growing ties to Trump have bolstered rumors that the couple recently separated.
There have been concerns about Trump’s conflicts of interest since the start of his campaign, but it seems the real estate mogul is essentially above the law with regard to his domestic business ties.
But the Kanye visit has raised questions about a different sort of conflicting interest:
Trump seized power largely by stoking the flames of racial hatred, and it now it remains to be seen how his white nationalist supporters will react to his meeting with one of the celebrity world’s most outspoken black men.
We’re sure they’ll be cool with it. They seem like a level-headed lot.
Wow, we were nearly crushed under the weight of our own sarcasm on that one.